hoedown crowdown

we spend a thousand days to enjoy the sophisticated life.
but we only need a moment to feel the touching action.

1st night when i reached bp.
when i stepped down from SnS bus, an umbrella and a big size but familiar person standing there ,
in front of summit, standing all alone in the middle of pouring rain...
wow..kind of..touched..he took my shoulder and taking me home..
thanks dad..love

evryday went to dad's shop in sri medan.
cooked all the dishes with mum and share th joyness.
i learnt experiences, as well as mum's care.
she cooked all my favourite dishes that are going to make me fat.
nvm chi shi fu mar..

it's been quite some days tht i nvr go out with my gang of frens..
we are busy?
or we are jst finding excuses to avoid the awkward situation thst is speechless?
cant explain. but i know my reasons.
31th dec.
anyone remembers? i awaiting ur presence.

it's been a year from the most important exam in my life.
cant recall what i did during the exam period but i know it's the toughest time ever.
now.time to conclude what i've done in 2009.
good deeds? bad deeds? happy moments? heart-breaking seconds?

18years old. You cant believe.
I pass through it like SHxT.
prefer chinese calendar.
that i still have 10 months to go for 18 years old.
not bad, huh?

WE CAN TRY
BUT WE MUST BELIEVE

人在做
天是在看的啊！

lost in my home

yeah i must admit that it will never be the same for us again..
can i stand to keep looking back on those memories?
i know..beause we are separated..
and it wont come back..
but i truly truly cherish the friendship that ever bond us together..
when i moving my 1st step to concern u..to see if u are good for this few months..
im kinda of hoping ur responses..
i know..if i said i have come back..
few of u wont even ask me or what,,probably because we seldom contact..
i dun wanna continue like that..
that's the vry end for us..
so i gotta move..to let u all feel that there's still a bond btw us..
im really trying my vry best..
haiz.. can someone tell me,
U guys really cherish the fate that bring us together??
I know i dun have the stand to say much coz im the one who are not here.
BUt trust me....i do LOVE u guys..
I meant it...

RANDOM

mst coming in 2 weeks time..
i nvr remember th target i set for myself..
that's go into the director's honour's list..it's kind of honour of malaysian if i can get into the list..
so.. i've been stop watching tv and pps for about 2 weeks time..
actually it's because of lazyness and tiredness as i always came home late in the night..
reports and homeworks as well as some stupid projects are making me busy all the times..

impossible to say that i have no happy moments these few weeks..
very happy that i can go to somerset and orchard last weekend..feel like relaxing..
talk to hanhong is kind of comfortable..haha..but most of the time we talk about the same topic..
guess i have left not much time to chat like that with him coz maybe he gonna succed soon ??
haha..sincerely god Bless them..

class bonding is coming back this few weeks..
not vry sure what is the link that bring us together again but maybe everyone was tired of it dy?
yeah..im totally glad for this..hopefully we can maintain the situation..WORLD PEACE

there've been a week that i have a tough time..but luckily i've frens that hold me along..
i was once going to sink..but she pulled me up..thanks serene very very much..
the best is not to think so much, quoted from jameston.

finally give serene the tree i made for some times..she likes it i think? haha.
class team work was seen on 19th nov at daniel's house..
it could be the most memorable moment throughout the 1st year!!
holding charcters of S-E-R-E-N-E in the swimming pool down the condo is just fantastic..
and also the birthday cake..
very very dissapointed that she cant manage to eat our handmake cake..
we tried for 2 times..both products are just...dammit
zhixin made another one which is delicious..
that could have represent all of us..
i spent alot money this month including my 83.46 singtel bill..omg..
fasting for the last 10days of nov ba...

my lab partner is making me frus..
sometimes good to me, sometimes like vry irritating..
fine..lckily we are just lab partner as well as simple frens..
otherwise i could have doomed long time ago!!

Im going back to batu pahat next thursday,,
not sure if anyone else will ask me to go out..
or they will simply dun bother much...
haha..

PEOPLE START TO CHERISH
WHEN THEY START FEEL LIKE LOSING IT.

IF U DO CHERISH SOMETHING, SHOW OUT AND LET THEM FEEL TO BE CHERISHED.

bluee days..

this 2 weeks are just making me frus all the way..
i cant stop to think about those stuffs.
maybe i shouldn't involve at the first time.
but i was in.

Not to blame anyone, but just cant feel comfortable as long as im with them.
i know something is just irresistible.
i know is like that.
i know sometimes we just fall deeply into it.
coz i ever tried before. same person same situation.
but luckily.
somebody help me along n i think im freed from the trap.

i couldn't bring myself to agree with the person..but i can understand the person..
SUre. love is everywhere.
which we are easily fall for.

but if u are not interested with the person. please be considerate.

We guys are so fed up.

Be strong. =)

finally i know how to express in words..
不是不喜欢就得走开，
不是留下就代表喜欢。

就算走得开，也不会解决任何事情。
就算留下来，也不见得有什么特别的好。

有时候，能够快乐，
安稳的继续过下去，
何尝不是一件好事。
让自己不去在乎，才能比较开心。

就算我说的很得过且过，很没有骨气，
我却觉得酱也许更好，不是吗？
以前在乎得太多，反而让身边的人一个接着一个难过。

对，我承认，义气很重要，所以我还是有的。
但是绝对不可以意气用事。
想想，若能有让自己开心一点的办法，值不值得一试呢？

过去的东西，一样的感觉是不可能在回来的。
不管谁错在先，似乎已经没有必要追究。

我们不是活在自己的世界，
不是一个人走开，或是一个人留下，就是快乐。

若本身尚有情义，
相信谁也割不断。

只要你是在乎的。 =D

BORING WEEKEND

ok la i understand why im bored during weekend.
i dun wan go back to bp.
i dun wan follow cousins to jb, either.
then what i shud do, thanks god, i deserved it.
haha..

haiz it's realy a big sigh for the 1st week in new started sem..
things going unexpected..maybe that's fate again..
Anyone can tell me how to solve the problem now?
or we destined to be like that?
i dun wanna be the person who care this situation the most,
coz i dun wanna my secret to be revealed..
but when things come worse to worse,
who's going to be the prolem solver?
i know she've been doing her best...
probably is because of me, that i said i was in pain,
making her guilty to drag both of us down..
but dun worry we r with u..for sure..
i like peace, it seems to be wrong that i have to stand aside..
but is truth that we r doomed this time..

not to care so much about these things..
but when we quit, can u stop too?
all ur guys' reaction are making me sad..
can both side walk 1 step backward?
maybe.. maybe,,
We could still be the same..

is not that i dun understand the situation,
is i refuse to know.

We could be better, I BELIEVE!

stupid

im so headache.
im so not wanna talk.

what if im really so stuupid?
Something that i truuly understand but just cannot get through.

ok, good..im so stupid..
im so crazy that i duno what im writing.

im just fucker idiot to care bout something which just stupid.

World just cant be peaceful

Sometimes things just happen unpredictably.
Yesterday we are just as close as sardin,but today..
I know there should be sometimes that i cannot be guilty, cannot blame whoever involved.
I used to stay in crowd. But when times arrived, i know who i will go to.
Obviously, i like peace. Im always hoping tht the happy moments can stay forever.
They said im too naive to believe in world peace.
Sometimes things just happen like that. And irrevocably.

Im trying my best to smile, from inner heart. =)

A story i never know before

this afternoon, dad told me the story about how he went through his old days when everyone despise him.
I dun have the idea how he suddenly wanted to tell me all those things,but i believe,
he thought i already have the ability to think wisely and thoroughly on his hardships,
and he knew,
i will have a completely new thoughts on it (as i believe).

Years before 1978, dad helped 7th uncle ( Qip beh) in his pasar malam business. Dad's salary was just Rm160, which i dun even think it was sufficient in 1980s. Qip beh's wife was getting unreasonable..she was thinking to lower down my dad's salary somemore..
after tht my dad decided to quit pasar malam.
he came to agong's shop in sri medan where most the villagers are malays..
He started to learn all those hardware things( 5 jin). Meanwhile, agong, dua beh, n dua beh's wife in-charge of the shop.
They also like u wanna take salary then u take, dun wana take then dun wan.
During the time, dad was with my mum in tua pasar there, he was dating my mum.
heard tht it was a sweet lifetime.haha.

1979, chinese new year, chu 4, an accident happened in bukit pasir, rght in front 4beh's shop where 4hm(4beh's wife) house were over there.
A gong, tua beh, 3beh n 4 beh was in the car. there was petrol in their car which tua beh was goin to sell in shop.
When they reverse the car, another drunken driver came straight and crush.........
because of the petrol, the car exploded, 4 of them burnt dead. \
i wonder how 4hm took it..as she saw it on her eyes..
dad told me, it was just dat qiao,sometimes.
when the accident took place, he was in my mum's home,eating chicken.
he said, it's like, heaven wanna punish them for eating such a gud thing when his dearly family was having a toughh time.
my mum's 下巴脱臼 when eating the chix, n dad immediately sent her to hospital..
when he reached there, every ppl told him, his father, brothers had an accident..n dad saw all of them in the hospitals...
i cannot imagine how the situation would be..after all their wives had come to hospitals..
they all have their children, all still young and duno wat's going on...
it shud be a tough time for them....
what can be more sad than losing family..
tears drop non-stop when story tills here..

Following by tht, dad started to in-charge of the shop in sri medan as only left him to support the shop//
daddy let tua hm to stay n take care of her..
throughout the days, all his brother despise him n think how he can manage a business..think he was useless n nth could help..
dad just drive his van to shop everyday he used it to carry stocks to shop..
After tht, mum married to dad n started their live..mum also helped dad in his shop..
n the thing tht i most angry is when the taoke beside my dad's shop ask my dad: Do u wan to sell ur van? got ppl wanna buy leh!
he despise my dad n ask him to end the business!
but my dad nvr do so..he said, he must have self-confidence and determination so tht to maintain the business!!!!!
In the end, he succeed to do so!! he made all the suppliers to trust him, n give him more n more goods to sell in his shop..
It was his decision which change our lives..

30years over now, and lian seng heng trad co. also change its face..it's now a big shop n a trustable shop in sri medan..
all the villagers come to im to buy anyting they need..my dad know all the mechanical things..he like a pro in 5jin now..haha..it was really a success in sri medan..
i truly admire him..
his love to family is what i can see , i can feel, obviously..

but i never know,there was a story behind all the success.

Daddy, buck up!!!!!

I will continue your spirit, until 1 day,
when i tell my children,
they will also feel the same as me, for now.

Life that i hv nvr regretted about it

Water of fountain at Suntec City

LiFe tht i hv nvr regretted
it's been 3 months since i wrote my last blog..things happened tremendously n im still wondering where to start from..haha..first of all..gonna tell some of my friens that havent been updated by me that..he got girlfriend le!! haha..sincerely, i congrate him deep in my heart..but i nvr say out..coz quite alot of frens asked me dun to get hurt once again le..but actually the hurt lasted for 1 night only lah.after that laugh with them i jiu recovered le!! haha..happy for him coz he may had found his true love who will cherish him..

after tht, really gotta thank god who put me in DCP 1B 23!!!!!What a bloody good n exciting class man!!!besides from playing n laughing..i have some gal frens who can let me lay and depend on when i was lost n sad..I hope they really know tht i really appreciate their kindness to treat me so good since im a foreigner..I really thought tht i would be alone here coz they have their frens here all around n yet im the one who is alone..But i was wrong..they treat me vry vry gud..that i nvr been doted so much before..I love hanging around with them..it just makes me feel..I have a home here, too... =)

Thanks serene for being the one who gives me alot alot alot alot of care and love

Thanks amy for giving me the feeling tht i can also be important to somebody

Thanks xueling and hazel for being my good frens, and i need to apologize to you( im truly guilty).

Thanks xinyi for being my 1st close fren in class! though i dun really understand u, but ur so sweet..be urself and that's important!

Thanks jameston for caring me sometimes. Actually,want to tell u long time ago, that it's my 1st time to have such close touching with a guy..haha dun hu si luan xiang coz before tht i was in a gal school mar..

Thanks fenghao for making me laugh alot alot..u know..u have the superpower to change me from emo to siao za bo..serious..

(Everyday i was like laugh n laugh n laugh non stop~ fenghao n jameston is truly a perfect pair of jokers!!)

Thanks julian for showing me 1 semester of 'kindness'.U got ur good character also,sometimes.
Thanks the others for being my classmates!! without u 1b23 is just nothing..haha..say frankly..if next year we separate leh..i will miss them much!!

Hopefully our clique can stick together!! =)))

Today is my last day in singapore for this semester..
i hv nvr been so doted before that they even come to my house to send me off..
hahaha..love love love love...thanks my dearest..

And finally gotta tell my bp frens i hv come back! I never forget u all..though when im in singapore we can seldom contact coz some of u dun even online...hmmm sad sad...but we can come out to lian luo gan qing d !!

2 more months to my 18th bday..what can i ask for more..the same wish that i wish for the past few years has nvr been granted so far..haiz..li min keep it up!!

As long as u believe, U stand a chance to own happy ending!!!

my 1st sem in singapore poly

it's been 7 weeks since i went to sp..life here was awesome..
at first i really think that i'l be very stress to be here..but now i realize it's not really like that..
the best thing happened there was that i was 1 of the 3 top scorers in 1 of the module, iochem..
and learning progress was fast..1 thing that i hate the most was doing reports.
i hate doing reports when they all were playing restaurant city,it sucks..
i cant get them concentrate most of the time..
so i really give them a vry not-gud-looking face when doin report cz thy were not focus at all to help finishing the reports..sienz...
besides that i was happy in sp..we played like siao za bo n siao dao..haha..everyday we can laugh like hell..
after holidays will be our mid semestral test..i wil try my best to achieve high scores so that i will not dissapoint my parents n myself..

im so happy to see him there..ive been regret for many many years..n so i have longed to c u here..
he took me here n there,like a tour guide,
we went to bugis,jurong point,buona vista(acc me take a new atm card).
memories vf him maybe was just this 7 weeks.
actually i really thought maybe..we can continue our fate..for the flower refuse to bloom last time..
i thought mayb when ur bday coming i can clb vf u,
maybe the bbq in east coast park next week may let us have a beautiful memory,
maybe we can go singapore flyer,e ferris wheel at marina bay,to view the seaview at the seaside..
i found that u stil have feelings towards me..i was vry shocked bout it..
i thought u gt gf ady..i thought u quite hate or dislike me..
i thought u wont fall for me again..for hurt again..
everytime u send me home,u buy me dinner,u call me,u accompany me in school till nite is really making me extremely happy..i bet u nvr noe it..
i nvr expect maybe u haven give up..so when flo asked u,im shocked..
but just a minute after that,ur fren asked me wanna go church vf ur guys dis sunday mar..i just realize that u have changed ur religion..
den i go n ask u..u say yes..
why??why god like that?y fate is arranged like dat?
by e time i really damn sad..i really dun expect dis matter will be the factor that separate us again..
n right after this, we never contact each other..sms,msn or even a call..
my fren tell u dat actually i care..n so..i think u really wake up this time..
i thougt maybe u stil think tha we can try..but..
after 5 days,u seriously tell my fren that u r goin to give up..okay..i admit,i broke down for this..
i cry for a guy the whole night..i thought maybe some tears..but when i read ur letters before seriously i cannot control myself..
and that's the end for us..i understand u wont want to try again..
actually we din even talk to each other about anything..
we just understand from each of our personal msg.just like replying each other thru personal msg..
when i saw u write "im freed","wateve past was gone....","a brand new of me"..i understand..
maybe u have chosen a way to protect urself from bein hurt by me again ..
so u nvr talk to me anything bout ur feelings so that i dun even have a chance to reject u n hurt u again..
okay..dis is really gud for both of us..since we both dun wana be e 1st person to say out e problem..
best wishes to him, e guy i fall for.
when ur gone..the pieces of my heart are missing too..so just let u disappear from my life ba..
we could be better without each other..we will both have our blessful future..so jiayou to u n jiayou to me okay!!

my best friend gt bf ady..a guy who ive been promote long long time before..im overjoyed to c her accept him finally..
now 5 of my frens gt bf ler...watching they guys so blessed,i gt abit sad..coz leave me alone now..
everyone keep say to me that will gt d la wil gt d la dun ganjiong..but i just cant get thru this..
so frus that i dun even have a closed guy frens now..maybe is all fated..
i will really try to love myself more..so that i wont keep think of those staffs again..
when will my fate come to me?...........

.............i'l be waiting,
and waiting.

pa,ma,i luv euu so muchie~~

今天看星洲副刊，看得我很感动的一直哭。。妈妈爸爸为我付出很多，从小到大，我很任性，应为是家里最小的千金，要风得风要雨得雨，而且爸妈只要是我想要的东西，合理的，对我有好处的，他们一定会帮我做到。
我小时候妈妈时常打我，因为我不听话，我还会赌气不跟他们说话。后来我也会知道是我的错。。
最心疼爸爸总是为了我的是很紧张，东奔西跑，尤其是我读书上的事情，只要是好的，爸爸都会让我得到。。
就像我想进什么学校，申请什么奖学金，当兵要出来读书什么什么的，爸爸都很passion得在我来来去去，就算很累很累，他也没有关系。从巴株居銮新山新加坡跑来跑去，真得很累，更何况爸爸要驾车，真得让我超级感动。
妈妈呢，从小就不会轻声细语对待我们兄弟姐妹，她不是严厉管我们读书，她根本不会管我们厉不厉害读书，他只会要我们做家务，要我们自己努力。妈妈满凶的，看到他对孙子们又疼 友爱，就让我想起妈妈小时候也是这样对我的。
妈妈不会把爱说出来，但他总是会一直打回来，问我们在做莫，提醒我们要做什么拿什么。妈妈很厉害，洗衣做工煮菜样样行，而且妈妈很精，不会被骗的那种，数学也很好。
妈妈在我考虑要去读书的那段日子里，很操心。因为担心我一个人去外地要怎么生活。所以曾跟我说过巴株没有的读吗？不然不用读拉，留在巴株做工。其实我知道他是舍不得我。。。。
我决定去新加坡后，妈妈其实没那么开心。时常会打来问我吃好不好睡好不好，读书辛苦吗，我听了都想哭。。
妈妈，我很好，读书不辛苦，我想到你们知道我那11个A1时亲戚朋友向你们道贺羡慕时你们有多骄傲，我就觉得很兴奋！
我 知道外地人在当地生活不容易，但爸爸妈妈，你们一定要放心，我不知会好好照顾自己，还会考出一番成就回来，买大房子给你们住，如果你们不要大房子，我就每 个月寄钱给你们，你们呀不要的话，没关系，我准重你们，但不管怎样，我都会尽量会来陪你们，不会让你们觉得养大的庞鸟就这样飞得越来越高而忘了回鸟巢的。
爸爸 妈妈，我没有说出我爱你，因为你们都会知道的。
爸妈，我真得很爱你们，我不能想象没有你们的日子会怎样，没有人替我操心，没有人每天打包给我。没有人帮我洗衣，念我，问我辛苦吗。。我都尽量周末回来，不是我适应不了，是我想家，我想家，想你们，不可以太久看不到你们。。
今天是母亲节，昨天去庆祝，孙子孙女女儿女婿没有半个人跟你说母亲节快乐，但是我们都说在心里的。
我写了母亲节快乐在一张纸上，我粘在墙壁了，希望你知道，我爱你！

a brand new season for me

it's been the 3rd weeks in singapore..
all the things here r advanced n ppl's steps r truly fast..
i gonna catch up vf them,either academics,or language..
singapore polytechnic is a gud school,teachers r vry dedicate,teach vry well..better a lot more than those bp teachers..
i get many new frens here..they didnt ignore me even they noe im nt a singaporean..
they make gud frens vf me,n sum of them r really frenly actually..

my vry 1st fren is xinyi,who has a twin sister.she oso din cum for the orientation,so we jz bump together! ahah..n i think later wilhv to fined together gua..
i have a gud fren here,named amelia,at first we just think dat our characteristics r vry alike,for example types of guys we like,talkative,laugh alot n easily,n d way we think,looking others r just d same!at last we just noe we r same horoscope dat's libra!no wonder al characters so alike 1..haha..

serene is our treasurer,her emotions r vry obvious n she wont hide it ,sumtimes cn b vry crazy n laugh loudly sumtimes cn scold ppl like hell,hahahaha,a true person,xueling n daniel r our class rep.,amanda,jingyun,weising,daphne,maisarah,hayat,rashpreet,chengkai,haiqing,jameston,hazel,

here gt many interesting ppl,like julian n feng hao,d 2 tall guys in our class,they really vry funny,julian i think is bcz his natural curly hair,n sumtimes hardworking sumtimes lazy..he is my partner when microbio n oso cppb.fenghao lives in chua chu kang oso,owaz sial sial sial d..haha.

i met him once again in singapore..maybe both of us old ady,mind matura abit oso..so neither 1 of us has bring again d pasts..but our ambience is vry nice now..cn play around,cn jokes,cn go arcade,cn shoot each other,n hope our frens relationship wil not end..cz i dun think both of us stil hv d strong feel like before..thz for bring me to many places when i 1st came here..i enjoy vry much..

i noe i shal b more hardworking den d others bcz their basic al better den me..
i'l work harder n try to get gud results here too..none of my frens here noe my spm results,i hope they didnt noe,so dat no stress is added to me..

i really wanna get a bf here i think,haha,im damn available for 18 years,but so sad..nobody wan at al..haha..keep fighting!i noe everything will b getting better n better!
=p